Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
