That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
