just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
