I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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