let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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