dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Shame is for Republicans.
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