There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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