apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
