Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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