what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
