She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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