I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
