One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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