so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
