Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
