is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
