with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
is wine microwaveable?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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