Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
