So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
