i think my mom watched the whole time
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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