I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
