you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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