Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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