question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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