I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
