For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
