lets start a swedish sibling band together
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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