she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
