I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
