Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
