in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
