i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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