some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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