I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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