i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
