do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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