C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
