He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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