She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
