Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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