at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
50% drunk capacity currently
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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