it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
