we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
