your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
