hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
