The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
