He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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