We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
