You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize