That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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