My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
This is my gift to your gina
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
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