they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
