just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
