On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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