Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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