he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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