The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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