I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
this hospital has no fireball
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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