oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
