Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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