Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
