do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
