tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
