i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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