i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize