I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
