Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's official drugs can't kill me
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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