So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
