Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
