Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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