How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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