The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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