Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
